Teach Mom Learn

1-year-olds are the cutest, most determined little communicators.  They’re babbling and chatting up a storm in their adorable little language, and they’re even starting to say real words!

Right now, Rae has a few – “it-ee” for kitty, a squeak for a meow (Rosie does squeak when she meows, so she’s not wrong there), and the occasional “buh-boo” for bubbles.  The rest is a long series of very determined babbles.

I already feel like I’m going to miss this phase so much when she begins switching over to more real words! 

Our 1-year-olds are absorbing the language around them constantly.  The language centers in their brains are exploding and developing nonstop during the first few years of their lives.  For more information about this fascinating phase, check out Scholastic’s Language and Literacy Development in 0-2 Year Olds.

While our toddlers understanding more of what we say all the time, there are ways to ensure that the way we communicate with them effective and helpful.  The last thing we want to do is overwhelm them. 

While young children are more than capable of disobeying by choice, there are many situations where the child simply doesn’t understand what they are being asked to do.  Here are some tips to help you communicate most effectively with your 1-year-old:

1. Give clear, concise directions –Our children are great listeners, but when we overcomplicate our language, they have trouble grasping its meaning.  Keep directions short and simple. 

It’s much better to say “Get your cup” than “Sweetie, please get your cup so I can give you more milk.”  While the second statement is traditionally more polite, the first one is direct, to the point, and simple enough for your toddler to understand.

2. Say what you want them to do, not what you don’t want them to do -When you tell a child, “Don’t climb on the couch,” you’re neglecting to tell them what you actually want them to do.  In that moment, they’re hearing “climb on the couch,” so that’s what they’re going to do. 

Instead, say, “sit down.”  Then, they know exactly what you want from them, and they are much more likely to actually do it.

3. Give processing time -How many times have you seen someone asking a child to do something multiple times in rapid succession? “Honey, get your bunny! Get the bunny, sweetie! Where’s your bunny? Go get it!” 

That poor kid can’t process the directions fast enough before they get restated, so they are going to get overwhelmed quickly.  Instead, slow down.  Give one direction at a time, then give wait time.

Wait time is powerful.  It gives your child time to fully take in and understand what you’re saying to them.  Give your child a solid 3-5 seconds between directions. 

This is something teachers learn early on in their training, so I can tell you from experience that no matter how old a child is, wait time makes a huge difference.

4. Give them choices –Giving choices at a young age gives a child a sense of autonomy and control over their environment.  Some choices are irrelevant, such as which toy to play with or which book to read.  For more important choices, this is a game changer and another common teacher trick! 

Whenever possible, give your child the option to choose between 2 alternatives that are equally good for them.  A child given the choice between broccoli and spinach will be happy that they got to choose the vegetable, and you’ll be thrilled that your child is eating something healthy.

 For younger children, give them a visual representation of their choices whenever possible.  When you ask them if they want strawberries or a banana, show them actual strawberries and bananas.  That way, even if the child is unsure of the words’ meanings or unable to say either word, they can recognize the items and point to their choice. 

5. Be consistent –Using consistent language for complex concepts is key to helping a young child understand. 

For example, every time Rae pulls my hair or is rough with Rosie, we gently grab her hand, say, “Gentle,” and model the correct way to touch fur or hair.  If I said, “Rae, stop doing that,” or “Rae, that hurts,” or “Rae, be nice to Rosie,” there’s too much variability there. 

By picking specific language for specific actions and modeling that language with your child, you are helping them to understand and to generalize a concept across multiple situations.

6. Encourage them to show you -Sometimes, your sweet little toddler is going to look you directly in the eyes and say, “ah-da-dahh-ffff,” blow you a raspberry, and expect you to know that they want a snack and it has to be apple sauce.  If you are able to understand that, you are amazing, but if you’re like me, there’s going to be some guessing involved. 

Your child wants to be understood so badly, and often, when you don’t get it the first time or if you brush it off, they get frustrated.  Instead, try to figure out where they’re looking.  If they’re pointing, that makes things about 1,000 times easier, but when they’re not, chances are they will look at what they want. 

At the very least, they’ll get excited if you start to move in the right direction and angry if you don’t, so you can almost play a little game of hot and cold. 

Once you figure out where you’re going, scoop them up and say, “Show me!”  As you move around the room, pay attention and to their verbal and nonverbal cues.  And ask them questions as you pass items.  Once you get it right, their little smile will be the best reward.

7. Give specific praise -Here’s another teacher trick –when we praise children, we want to use specific language about what they did and why it’s a good thing. 

Instead of just saying, “Good job!” you can say “Good job sitting down!”  As they get older, you can make the praise more complex (“I like how you sat down right away, that shows me you’re using your listening ears!”), but right now, that’s way too much. 

You can also comment on their behavior (“That is such good talking!” or “Wow, nice job throwing the ball!”).  The grammar might not be perfect, but you’ll get your point across.  Keep it simple but precise.

8. Label everything -When you’re chatting with your toddler, use your language to describe everything around you.  This is a fantastic way to build vocabulary. 

When you’re getting your child dressed in the morning, tell them, “This is your red sweater,” or “Your sweatshirt is so soft.  Feel it,” and guide their hand.  When you’re on a walk, talk about the trees, the birds, the sky, the clouds, the cars, whatever you see. 

At this age, life is a giant vocabulary lesson.  Label nouns, verbs, and adjectives as often as you can.  Use simple, short sentences, and allow time for them to process and absorb the vocabulary.

9. Build on their words -When children first start talking, they say short, simple words and eventually build to phrases.  You can help them develop their language by building on what they say. 

If your child says “woof” when they see a dog, you can say, “Yes, the black dog says woof.”  It’s almost like an improv class.  Everything is a “Yes –” statement to simultaneously encourage, praise, and extend their speech. 

10. Correct them with kindness and humor -Sometimes, our kids are going to be wrong.  You may ask what the birdie says, and they come back with a confident “Meow!”  I have another teacher trick for you -don’t say no and don’t tell them they’re wrong.

No is a negative word with a strong connotation, and we need to save it for the moments when we need it.  If your child is about to do something dangerous, absolutely use it.  But if they’re just incorrect, there are other ways to help. 

Instead, smile and say (with pauses for processing time), “That’s what a kitty says.  The kitty says meow. The birdie says caw!” When they’re this young, it’s best to come right out and share the correct response instead of asking them again.

As they get older, you can push a little more.  In my classroom, we try to stick to phrases like, “Not quite, let’s look at that again,” or “I like that you’re thinking, let’s go back and check your answer to make sure you’re on the right track.” The same strategy will work as your child gets a bit older. 

In these moments, you’re helping them to maintain their confidence and turning it into a team effort to find the right response.  Then, once they’re able to make the correction, they will have a sense of ownership and pride that they were able to figure it out.

Chatting with your toddler is so much fun! I hope these tips and tricks help you to have more meaningful conversations than ever. And in the meantime, enjoy the babbles, because they’re going to turn into words before you know it!

For more tips for toddlers, check out these fun Frozen-themed lessons and story time tricks!