Teach Mom Learn

Growth mindset is one of the most powerful tools in a teacher’s toolbox.  It makes the difference between confidence and defeat.  It helps kids develop grit and understand that effort matters just as much as success. 

I’ve been a special education teacher for 8 years now and worked in education for many years before that.  Working with students who often struggle in the classroom has taught me to be especially conscious of the importance of growth mindset.

My goal as a teacher is to create an environment where everyone feels safe and valued enough to be confident in taking academic risks.  And the best way to accomplish that is by teaching my students growth mindset.

These strategies are incredibly easy to use at home too! Even the youngest children can benefit from growth mindset, so you can start using these strategies as early as you want!

Here are 7 ways to raise children with growth mindset:

1. Redefine failure

A few years ago, I was meeting with a student’s parents to discuss goals.  When the word “challenges” came up, the parent asked if we could change it to “opportunities for growth.” 

That small but brilliant switch is the best example of growth mindset I’ve ever seen in real life.  We should all view our challenges as opportunities for growth!

Viewing something that’s difficult as an opportunity to learn and grow rather than a challenge we have to overcome makes the experience far more positive.  It also makes it much harder to feel discouraged.

The next time your child is struggling to learn something new, remind them that it’s an opportunity to grow and learn!

2. Normalize the struggle

Your children need to see you struggle, and they occasionally need to see you fail.  Letting them see that you’re learning too and that things aren’t always easy for you teaches them that everybody struggles sometimes. 

When something is hard for you, be open about it.  Tell them it’s difficult for you, but that you’re going to keep trying.  Explain that you’re still learning, just like when they learn something new.

Use these moments as an opportunity to have a conversation about what they’ve learned.  Let them use their experiences to encourage you.  This will empower your child to be supportive of others while helping them recognize their own accomplishments.

This is a strategy I use in the classroom all the time.  When we’re doing a particularly difficult math problem, I’m honest about not being able to do the calculation in my head. 

If I’m not 100% sure of how to spell a word, what happened in the War of 1812, or how many electrons are in an iron atom, I use it as an opportunity to teach problem-solving. 

I encourage them to come up with helpful strategies, we pick one together, and then we solve the problem as a group.

My students take great pride in being able to help, and your children will too!

3. Teach “yet” early

If growth mindset were to be summed up in one word, it would be “yet.” I’m sure any parent with a child in school has seen posters and bulletin boards full of statements like, “I can’t do this…yet” and “I don’t know how…yet.”

Children need to know that not being able to do something right away is normal.  They need to understand that they are growing and learning constantly, and so are their skills.  Nothing is permanent.

In this interview for The Build Series, Terry Crews shares his perspective on growth mindset.  “Everything is learned,” he says.  And he’s right! Watch it below if you’d like!

99.999% of success stories are the result of tireless effort and a growth mindset.  These people did not give up no matter how challenging it got.  They knew the power of yet and that someday, they would accomplish their goal.

Teach your children this explicitly.  When they say something defeated, add the yet in there for them.  Reassure them that even though it’s hard now, someday, they will meet their goal.

Before you know it, they’ll start adding the yet in themselves.  And they’ll even start adding it for you when you forget!

4. Praise effort just as much as success

In teaching, the process is just as important as the answer.  That’s why students always have to show their work!

Say you’re solving a complex algebra problem and you get the first 8 steps right.  Then, on the last step, you make a simple addition error and get the problem wrong.

As human beings, we’re inclined to focus on that incorrect 9^th step and not the 8 correct ones.  That’s where teachers and parents come in!

It’s our job to help our children recognize how hard they work and what they’ve accomplished.  We need to teach them to be proud of what they got right, not discouraged by what they got wrong. 

When you see your child trying something new, be sure to provide specific praise for what they’ve accomplished so far.  If they show you a test with a bad grade, sit down with them and show them all the things they did well before you talk about what they need to work on.

By focusing on their effort and what they can do, you’re providing them with the confidence they need to persist in learning the rest of the task. 

And when they do finally meet their goal, be sure to praise their effort as well as their success.  Tell them how proud you are that they didn’t give up and that they kept trying.  Make sure that they know how much their grit matters.

5. Be explicit about progress

Children are often so caught up in tasks that they don’t realize how far they’ve come.  One helpful trick for students who feel discouraged is to point out where they were before and what they’ve accomplished since.

I actually save work samples of students’ struggles to help illustrate this point.  When they master something that’s been especially difficult for them, I break out an old worksheet to show them where they were just a few weeks ago.

The look on their faces when they see their progress melts my heart every time.  They didn’t even realize what they’d accomplished until they saw it for themselves!

Do the same thing at home.  Take videos of your children even when they’re not particularly great at something like cartwheels or soccer.  Save quizzes or projects for a short period of time until they master the skill. 

Helping your child see what they were able to do will give them the confidence to approach other opportunities for growth!

6. Tune into Sesame Street

Rae and I love Sesame Street.  The songs are educational, fun, and feature some fantastic singers parents love. 

Sesame Street is brilliant in their approach to teaching children through music.  They sneak powerful, important lessons into catchy songs.

Check out these 4 songs from Sesame Street‘s YouTube channel:

Trust me, once your child starts listening to these songs, you’ll be singing them constantly too.  The music videos feature the singers and characters trying and mastering a variety of difficult tasks, but not without putting forth strong effort.

Plus, it’s really fun to watch the singers clearly having a blast performing with the monsters!

Songs like this are a fun, easy way to help your child learn the basics of growth mindset at a young age and internalize valuable life lessons.

7. Use books

In nearly every children’s book, a character has to overcome an obstacle.  This obstacle is the conflict of the story and the reason your child is invested in the plot.  If everything came easy to the main character, the story would be incredibly boring!

There are some books that are especially excellent for growth mindset.  The What Do You Do Matters series by Kobi Yamada (which features What Do You Do With a Problem? What Do You Do With an Idea? and What Do You Do With a Chance?) is fantastic for elementary children, but older children and adults would benefit from reading it as well.

For younger children, I would focus on any story where someone has to look for something or try something new.  Books like Karen Katz’s holiday series including Where Is Baby’s Turkey? and Where Is Baby’s Valentine? seem simple, but there’s great meaning there!

The baby could give up when they don’t immediately find what they’re looking for, but instead, they keep going until they are successful.  And even better, they find wonderful, unexpected things in all the places they look, showing that every step in their process has value.

We Are Teachers has a great list of growth mindset read-aloud books if you’re interested!

For more strategies to inspire confidence, check out How to Raise Confident Daughters: 11 Lessons Our Girls Need.

How do you teach growth mindset in your home? What are your tricks for teaching your kids persistence? Please share in the comments below!