Teach Mom Learn

It took me 14 months to fit comfortably into my work pants after having Rae. And since I bloated up very quickly into my pregnancy, it had been 22 months since I’d worn them.

I only put them on that day because all my jeans and leggings were dirty, and unless I wanted to wear a dress in my barely-heated classroom, I had no other options.

I was filled with dread as I pulled them on, unhappy at the prospect of spending a day crammed into a too-tight waistband. But instead of holding my breath and tugging them shut, they closed easily. After all these months, I was finally close to my old body.

Here’s the thing -while I may be close to my old body, I know it will never be the same as it was before I got pregnant with Rae. And I’m okay with that. But it took me time to get there.

Having a baby causes immense life, physical, hormonal, and emotional changes. It is the best thing to ever happen to you, but the strangest to ever happen to your body. But this new body deserves love and appreciation because it brought you your new best friend!

Here are 7 ways to learn to love your post-baby body:

1. Don’t pay attention to numbers. It’s tempting to obsess over numbers, especially after you have a baby. The scale gradually starts to inch downward, and you begin to feel more comfortable in your old clothes (especially the comfier ones).

Maybe you reach your pre-baby weight, maybe you don’t. It doesn’t actually matter because there’s a weird phenomenon after you have a baby where your body almost restructures itself.

You could be 5 pounds less than you were pre-baby, but your pants still don’t fit. Or you could be 10 pounds more and they do.

Focus on how you feel instead of the numbers on the scale. You’ll be much happier that way.

2. Get fitted for a new bra. This is such a necessity! Get rid of all your old ones and buy yourself quality bras that fit you well, are super comfortable, and make you feel confident.

Getting professionally fitted is critical. Even the dimensions of your ribcage change during childbirth, so basically nothing about your old size is true anymore.

Plus, having bras that fit the right way will help you avoid back pain, and when you’re constantly lifting a child and all their gear, that is essential!

And while you’re at it, get rid of your old bathing suits. You brought a human life into the world, you deserve new ones that make you feel confident while keeping you covered up.

3. A-line and swing dresses and tunic tops are your friends. Whether you’re transitioning between sizes or adjusting to your new one, you deserve to feel good about your body. A-line dresses and tunic tops are universally flattering. Plus, the lack of intense waistband helps with the magical mystery bloat that randomly pops up after pregnancy.

Personally, I love Old Navy’s tunic tops and swing dresses. They’re comfortable, reasonably priced, and wash and dry perfectly.

For my A-line dresses, I prefer to visit Lilly Pulitzer’s semi-annual After Party Sale (every September and January!), but Kohls, Amazon, Old Navy, and Target have great options as well.

4. Leggings are your best friend. I have definitely mentioned my love of leggings in other posts, but there is a reason I look forward to any excuse to avoid new pants.

Every woman looks fantastic in leggings. It doesn’t matter how much you weigh or what body type you are. Plus, they’re comfortable. And there are enough styles out there that it’s easy to find the right pair for any occasion (with the exception of actual formal events).

Too often, we try to force ourselves into pants because we feel like we have to. Don’t! Wear what’s comfortable for your body!

5. Revel in your strength. Despite likely feeling weaker than you ever have, bringing a baby into the world makes you stronger than you’ve ever been. And it doesn’t stop there!

After your baby is born, you are going to build muscles in places you didn’t realize muscles existed because you will never stop moving around and lifting things.

No matter how much you use your old workouts, your new body will look different than your old one because your muscle use will be different. Your old clothes will fit your arms and shoulders differently than before.

It’s one thing to go for a run (or in my case, a walk), but when you push a stroller along the way? Whole different workout! Enjoy your new muscles, you’re earning them every minute!

6. Talk to your mom (or your mom friends) when you’re feeling insecure. There are moments when you won’t feel very confident at all. Even your leggings are snug, your shirt isn’t hanging right, and you’re having a bad hair day.

In these moments, talk to the most supportive moms you know. They have been there and they will validate your feelings. Because we’ve all been there. It’s like a secret club no one talks about until they’re in it.

Knowing you’re not the only mom to feel this way can be so reassuring.

7. Don’t compare your postpartum journey to other moms’. Every body is different, and nothing makes this more apparent than pregnancy.

I was not a skinny pregnant person. Around my 7th month, I started eating a 1st dinner of a massive bowl of cheesy buttered pasta before 2nd dinner after my husband came home from work. And by 9AM each day, my feet swelled up so badly that I taught from a rolling chair.

Once Rae was born, I went back to working out, going for walks, and eating healthy. It took me 11.5 months to hit my pre-baby weight, and that time period was full of comparing myself to other moms.

I’m genuinely happy for the moms who bounce back quickly. But that doesn’t mean I’m not jealous of them at the same time.

Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube are highly curated, and seeing so many women seemingly bounce back to their pre-baby bodies within a few months can be extremely discouraging for those of us who don’t. Coupling that with the old “nine months on, nine months off” mentality adds unnecessary pressure for new moms to look skinny in what is often an unreasonable amount of time.

The next time you see another mom looking amazing 6 weeks after having a baby, remind yourself that your bodies are completely different. Different pregnancies even have completely different effects on the same women.

By focusing on someone else’s journey, you’re devaluing your own. You worked hard to bring your baby into the world, you’re working hard to keep both of you healthy, strong, and happy!

Give yourself permission to take your time, to work out when you can, and to enjoy treats when you want them. You deserve to rest when you need it and to dedicate time to your physical and mental health.

Your body is incredible, and it deserves grace, care, love, and time.

For more mom confidence, check out these 12 ways to conquer your mom guilt!